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|  I stretched my arms towards the sky
like blades of tall grass
The sun beat in between my shoulders
like carnival drums
I sat still in hopes that
it would help my wings grow
So then I would really be fly
- Love Rain, Jill Scott ft. Mos Def
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about.
You.
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[musicl secret garden - adagio]
There's an aching in my heart for familiarity.
It sneaks up on me when I least suspect it-- when I press the pause button on life and take a look around me. The pictures and mementos around me contrast what I was then and what I am now. I wonder if present Tiffany is different or bad. The chords of an old song strum away and carry with it reminders of a hope I'd attach to it. How is it that music can conjure cemented emotions and memories?
As I listen to the violin, its graceful melody tug on the heart string. The soft music dwindles in the corner and I am briefly reminded of what I want. I want a simple life. Pane e tulipani. Bread and tulips. Le cose belle sono lente. Beautiful things are slow.
Thankfulness of the day:
Girlfriends, jook, and
a rubber duck.
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| Joel 2:12-14
"Yet even now," declares the Lord,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
and rend your hearts and not your garments."
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love;
and he relents over disaster.
Who knows whether he will not turn and relent,
and leave a blessing behind him,
a grain offering and a drink offering
for the Lord your God?
-----------------------
Wow! I love those verses. Give me your hearts, cries the Lord. recognize who I am, He says! God is gracious! Merciful! Slow to anger! Abounding in steadfast love!
And even after everything His people do to turn away, He says if they
repent, He might even leave a blessing behind when they don't deserve
anything. Honestly, I have such a hard time understanding God's
grace.
One of the families I babysat for has a picture on their fridge that says, "Love is kisses".
When the kids kiss me goodbye, they intentionally show their love for me. But
I don't get how they can love me if they don't know all of me. Then there is God's grace, which is all the more meaningful because He knows ALL of me. I don't get how He can give me grace and love when He
knows how dirty I can be inside. How is it that Love can occur when you
don't know the person but also when you know them well? Ah, 5 AM thoughts.
Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
on you I wait all day.
Psalm 25:4-5
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| I like publishing on even-numbered days. It seems more balanced that way.
Every Tuesday, I babysit a little two year old boy. He can't speak yet, but he'll do baby signs to tell me what he wants. I think this is a fun age because they're learning things so fast. I taught him how to differentiate between a bug and a dot. Now, exploring the front yard for different bugs is part of our routine. This Tuesday, we found a roly-poly, ladybug, and bee. This sense of wonder makes me smile. The front yard, so small in my eyes, is a vast, new world for him. And the thing about children is that they see all the little details. It seems like when we get older, our eyes become blind to the little things and we lose the appreciation for them. I'm glad that God can use little children to help us see again.
After we explore the front yard, we blow bubbles. I don't even remember the last time I blew bubbles, but there's something magical about them. They're so finite. Their lives are at most 5 seconds, but if you look at them at the right angle, you can see the rainbow. Even though their lives are so short, the bubbles lived it the best they could-- beautifully and with a purpose.
I think everyone should think of something they used to do as a kid and do it again.
Sit in the dirt and make a mud pie.
Fly with a blanket for a cape.
Look for the unnoticed.
I know. I'm just silly.
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